Today I want to talk about the good and bad of how technology impacts our relationships. My buddy Jon is retiring from the Marines. By every measure, his career was a success. His final tour will be as a squadron commander. However, he also knows a new life awaits him and he eagerly looks forward to it. Like any smart transitioning veteran, he is reaching out to his network for advice, insight, support, and maybe even a few referrals. He must have misdialed and called me!

My continued work writing for military.com, my work as a Non-Resident Fellow with Marine Corps University, and consulting on leadership development in the corporate world give me a pretty detailed perspective on his transition and the opportunities and challenges it provides. We had a great conversation and that is the point of this posting.

Jon and I deployed together in the early 90s. We have seen each other a few times over the years, at changes of command, celebrations, and funerals. The majority of our relationship is online through email, but even that isn’t at a high volume. Such is the nature of the relationships we develop in the military; we don’t ask, “Where have you been?” when we haven’t talked to someone in a while. We simply ask, “How are you doing?” When we get on the phone, we pick right up like we have never been apart.

Compare that to another buddy I floated with at the same time. I haven’t had a real, spoken conversation with him in years. Without the closer contact that a simple phone call provides, I’m sorry to say our friendship has weakened over time. Jon and I were able to reconnect on a deeper level than is possible with email. But had we not had that phone conversation, I suspect our relationship would weaken over time, too.

The technology at our disposal makes it so easy to stay in touch that it makes it much easier to grow out of touch even while keeping in touch. At some point, email doesn’t cut it. We have to pick up the phone, or drive across town, or do what it takes to make sure the human connection remains strong.

You all have examples of people you have done a better job of keeping in touch with than others and what happened to those relationships.

Beyond re-connecting, my nearly 90-minute phone conversation with Jon gave me some fresh ideas and perspective from a guy I respect, who’s doing a job I talk about to some of my audiences. It kept me current on issues in the Marine Corps. As consultant on workplace topics and a contributor to this site, that was an unexpected bonus.

Who do you need to spend some time with, either in person or on the phone? Once I hit Send on this, I know who I need to call. What about you?

This entry was posted on Friday, August 13th, 2010 at 1:59 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.